Sex

People often get gender and sex confused. Gender is about how you see yourself, while sex is about your biological sexual characteristics.

When someone is born, they are usually recorded as being “male” or “female” based on what their external genitals look like. For example, if they have a penis, their sex is recorded as male, and if they have a vagina, their sex is recorded as female. If someone is born with characteristics that don’t match the traditional definition of male or female, their sex may be recorded as intersex. For intersex babies, adults may choose a gender for the baby or they may wait until the baby is old enough to explore their own gender themselves.

Traditionally, in Western society, parents raise babies to match the recorded sex with its “matching” gender. But this approach doesn’t acknowledge that there are many different genders, and that often a person’s gender doesn’t match their recorded sex.  

Plus, gender is something that people grow into. There are lots of parts of a person’s personality that develop as they grow. Gender is just one of those parts. Like many things about a person, gender can change many times over the course of a lifetime – or stay the same. 

Read more about gender or sexual orientation. 

Intersex is an umbrella term that describes up to 40 natural variations of sex characteristics.  

Sex characteristics can include: 

• Chromosomes (e.g. XY, XX, or XXY chromosomes) 
• Making different amounts of hormones such as oestrogen or testosterone) 
• Internal reproductive organs. These include  ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, cervix, vagina, and prostate.  
• External reproductive organs. These include vulva, clitoris, labia majora and minora, penis, testes, scrotum.  
• Secondary sex characteristics (e.g. muscle mass, body hair, voice and breasts) 

In Aotearoa, roughly 1 in 5000 people are thought to be born intersex, but this number could be higher. Many people don’t know that they are intersex until puberty, or sometimes later. You might be intersex and not know. In Aotearoa, people have the option to update the name and sex marker on their identity documents, such as their passport and birth certificate.   

Being intersex isn’t a medical problem and medical intervention isn’t usually needed. It’s important that all people have autonomy and control over their own body, to self-identify and decide on any medical intervention themselves. All bodies of all sexes are unique, and differences are normal and natural. 

Intersex is referred to in the rainbow community as the “I” in LGBTQIA+. Some people who have a variation in their sex characteristics may identify as intersex and/or may see themselves as part of the rainbow community. Others may see their variation in sex characteristics more as part of their medical history, rather than their identity. It is important that we respect people’s autonomy to identify however feels best for them. 

At Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa, we welcome people of all genders, sexes, and sexualities. Our clinics are the place to come to for affordable, confidential, non-judgemental sexual and reproductive health care. There are no silly questions when it comes to talking to us. Our clinicians and Community Health Promoters are happy to kōrero with you about even the trickiest topics.

You might like to read our guidance on contraception options for trans and non-binary people.

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