Valentine’s Day – or Rā Aroha

As a Community Health Promoter, a huge part of my mahi involves discussions with young people about healthy relationships. While we don’t cover Valentine's Day specifically, I’ve often wondered what a Te Ao Māori worldview on this special day could look like... how did my tīpuna celebrate love and admiration, the way some of us do on Valentine's Day?

Valentine's Day originates in Roman times. But while it isn't a traditional Māori celebration, we can align it with Te Ao Māori worldviews. I’ve done this by framing the concept around our values of and approaches to love, relationships, and connection.  
  
Valentine's Day is a special day of celebrating the person you love and admire. You may send messages or buy gifts and cards to let someone know you think they are amazing. 
  
With this in mind, let’s think about the Māori values of: 

• Aroha – love, compassion, empathy.  
• Whanaungatanga – relationships, connections, kinship.  
• Mahana – warmth and affection in relationships.  
• Manaakitanga – care, kindness.  
• Hononga – unions, bonds, connections
• Kotahitanga – unity, togetherness 

These values are akin to, and can be weaved through, the concept of Valentine’s Day.  
 
Using some of the values above, we could even reframe the day, from being Valentine's Day, to: 

• Rā Aroha – a day of love, celebrating love in all its forms.  
• Rā Whanaungatanga – a day of celebrating our connections and relationships.
• Rā Mahana – a day of celebrating warmth and affection.  
  …all of which are deeply honoured in Te Ao Māori. 

Let's now think about the many pūrakau Māori that are based around relationships and love. As you'll see, some of these relationships are human, some are based in our Atua system and some are celestial.

They share a balanced love, which greatly benefits te taiao, the environment and everything that thrives within it. Tamanui te Rā spends the colder, darker months over the ocean with his Hine Takurua and the warmer, brighter months over land with his Hine Raumati. 

The original parents and Maoridom’s original whakapapa story. Their love kept them close for a long time. They bore many children: our Atua Māori, and were also a huge influence on the creation of the things that reside in the heavens: the moon, the stars, and the sun. 

Love between celestial beings. These two are believed by some Iwi to be the parents of the stars of Matariki.  

A legendary love story of devotion that inspired the song 'Pokarekare Ana'. These two were deeply in love with each other but hid their feelings because of their different places within the social system of the day.. Eventually, they let love win, but people in Hinemoa's life didn’t want them to be together, so prevented her from travelling by canoe from the Rotorua mainland, where she lived, to Mokoia Island, where Tūtānekai lived. Hinemoa ultimately swam Lake Rotorua in the middle of the night to be with her love, and the rest is history.

Before we conclude, I thought it would be nice to compose some Māori-inspired Valentine's messages that embrace the Māori values of aroha, whanaungatanga and mahana. I hope you find them helpful as you write your next love letter.
  
Hari Rā Aroha, e taku tau!  
Ko koe tōku marama i te pō, tōku rā i te ao.  
Ka nui te aroha ki a koe i tēnei rā, ā, i ngā rā katoa.  
Ko tā tāua whanaungatanga he taonga, ā, ka noho tonu koe i tōku ngākau.  
 Happy Day of Love, my darling!  
You are my moon and my sun.  
I have so much love for you today, and every day.  
Our relationship is a treasure, and you will always have a place in my heart.  
  
I roto i a koe, i whiwhi tōku kainga.  
In you, I have found my home.  
  
He mea whakamīharo koe!  
I have changed the phrase 'you are amazing' to 'you are an amazing thing'
  
And my personal favourite:   
E tino whakamoemiti ana ahau ki a koe me tō taua hononga ataahua.  
I am so greatful for you and our beautiful relationship.  
Ko ngā mea pai anake e tika ana mōu i tēnei ao, ā, e whakahī ana ahau nōku koe.  
You deserve only good things in this life, and I'm proud to be one of them.  
  
I hope that from now on, every time you think about relationships and love, Valentine’s Day and feelings of warmth and affection, these Te Ao Māori concepts and views will be helpful in placing a cultural lens over the occasion.