White Ribbon Day: Creating Safe Spaces

This week we want to acknowledge White Ribbon Day (25 November), a day dedicated to raising awareness and taking a stand to end violence against women.

Introducing ‘Creating Safe Spaces’, a photography project aiming to highlight the importance of creating safe spaces for open and healing conversations, reducing stigma, and helping people to reach out for support. Created by Chloe Phillips, a Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa Community Health Promoter, the project features 10 tāne working in the Tauranga community who are speaking out about sexual violence.

The men taking part in the project are breaking the silence to create a safer community for all. Together we can make Aotearoa a safe place to have these conversations, and a place where help is always within reach.

If you or someone you know needs help, please reach out to Safe to Talk – a 24/7 helpline for people affected by sexual harm: 0800 044 334.

"I’ve got a seat that you can come and sit on for support if you have that moment of going, 'I need to talk to someone', and you can't get support straight away, or it's going to take a long time to go see someone. I've got a seat right beside me that's ready for you to sit in. If it’s empty, it’s yours. And how brave you are to start that journey. There are people out there and services that care about you. The moment that you decide to go, 'I need support, I need to tell the truth here', we're here. We're ready for you to get that support that you need. You can get through this, well done for taking that step for change."

"I think in the words of Gabor Mate, he's one of the rock stars in trauma, globally, he talks about, 'you're not responsible for something that happens to you, but you are responsible for what you do about it.' If something happens to you, and you want to talk about sexual violence, it is part of your responsibility to act on that. So what I would suggest is reach out, take advice. Don't leave yourself to be alone in your mind. Your mind alone is a dangerous place to be. So reach out for support and to those who care about you.

And with that comes being kind to yourself at all times. If you're always trying to be the best version of yourself and come with good intent, then it makes it easier to be kind to yourself with your thoughts. And our thoughts govern our lives. That’s what I would advise."

"There's people out there who care, the help is available. Reaching out is tough, but I think you'll be glad you did, once you have."

"I think the experience of sexual harm can be so world-shrinking. It can be hard to believe that there is a world outside of the really horrible effects and the stress and trauma of that. And so my advice would be to try and cultivate that courage and find a sense of why that's worth it, because you’re worth it. The love, unconditional acceptance, and the resources to walk alongside you as you heal and restrengthen are 100% out there waiting for you to take that courageous step. So I believe in you. We believe in you."

"Find someone that you trust. It doesn't have to be an immediate family member or something, someone that you really trust that you can confide in. Just to talk. Talking helps. Reach out. Someone will be able to help."

"You never know, you might not be the only one going through it, so you could help other people by showing strength."

"Your story matters and you don't have to carry this weight alone. There are people in our community who will listen without judgment and support you at your own pace. Taking the first step to reach out is incredibly brave and you deserve to be heard and supported."

"It’s really tough when you’re thinking about or contemplating reaching out because there can be so much whakamā (shame) and guilt, but don’t let that stop you. There are some really great people working in the industry who want to help. They are trained and they have great heart for the work they do. Be brave, have courage, and take that first step. Step into health and healing for yourself and your whānau. Kia kaha."

"Come to us, we can talk about what's concerning you, what's worrying you, and we can hopefully support you through wellbeing. So just come to us and trust the process."

"Kāhore taku toa I te toa takitahi, he toa takitini. We cannot succeed without the support of those around us."