Safer sex

Safer sex is about looking after the sexual health and wellbeing of you, and the people you have sex with. This means protecting yourselves against pregnancy and STIs, and making sure that the experience feels safe for everyone involved.

All types of sex can lead to STIs, and penis-in-vagina sex can lead to pregnancy. There are lots of options for staying safe, but condoms are the most effective type of contraception for protecting against both STIs and pregnancy.

Feeling physically and emotionally safe, and making sure your partner is feeling the same way, is a really important part of sexual health and wellbeing. Communication is key when it comes to having fun, and safe sexual experiences.

The five Cs to safer sex:  

• Communication
• Consent 
• Contraception 
• Condoms and lube 
• Check for sexually transmissible infections (STIs)  

Being able to communicate well with a partner — whether it’s a long-term relationship or a casual sexual partner — is the key to good sex.

If you can both talk about your likes and dislikes, the type of protection you want to use, your expectations, and your boundaries, then sex will be — and feel — safer and more pleasurable. 

Listening is also an important part of communication. Pay attention to both verbal (talking) and non-verbal communication (e.g. body language, facial expressions and sounds). Being a good sexual partner means taking onboard what your partner communicates and respecting their likes, dislikes, and boundaries.

Read our Easy Read guide about consent for sex (PDF)

Getting consent before and during sex is essential.

It’s up to you and the person you’re having sex with to decide what you feel comfortable with and what you want to do.

Anyone can change their mind at any point and sex should stop. Nobody should be pressured into doing something they don’t want to do, and if they aren’t sure about it, take it as a ‘no’ and find something else you’re both comfortable doing instead (this could also be stopping and doing something completely different, like watching a movie). 

It can sometimes be difficult to work out if someone is giving consent or not, or if someone wants to change their mind but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you. The easiest and safest thing to do is to ask, and to keep asking.  You could say:

Is this okay?

Do you like this?

Shall we try this?

Does this feel good?

Shall we take a break?

Remember, someone is not able to give consent if they are drunk, high, are out of it, or are asleep — even if they say ‘yes’. If they are slurring their words, can’t walk straight, feel dizzy or sick or aren’t making much sense, don’t have sex with them — it is illegal to have sex or do something sexual with someone that doesn’t have capacity to give consent.

If you have been pressured or forced into having sex or if you are worried about something that’s happened, there is help and support available — you can talk to someone anonymously (without giving your name or details) if you want to, and most helplines are free to call.

Contraception helps you avoid pregnancy.

There are lots of different types of contraception, like condoms and the pill. If a person with a uterus (womb) has sex with a person with a penis, they will have a chance of getting pregnant and will need to think about contraception.

Everyone is different and so is contraception! What works for one person may not work for another. Most contraception is free and works well if used properly. For sex to be safer, it’s important to think about contraception beforehand and to talk to a nurse to figure out the best type of contraception for you.

Condoms and lube help you avoid pregnancy and STIs.

Anyone having sex, including sexual touching, can get an STI.  When used properly, condoms lower the risk of STIs (and pregnancy) a lot.  Condoms are available in different sizes, textures, flavours, and thicknesses — there is something for everyone, including latex-free! If someone finds that they don’t like one type of condom, they can always try a different type or brand. Using lube with condoms means that they are less likely to break, and it can make sex feel better. 

You can get a prescription for condoms from us by booking an appointment, or by dropping in to one of our clinics and asking at reception, or you can buy them in a supermarket or pharmacy. 

Anyone can get condoms, even if you're aged under 16. It can be a good idea to get condoms before you think you need them for sex so you can get used to how they feel, and learn how to use condoms correctly.

Anyone having sex, including sexual touching, can get an STI.

Getting checked for STIs is an easy way to make sure you’re healthy.  It’s a good idea to get an STI check before having sex with a new person, and regularly, if you’re sexually active.

Many STIs don’t have symptoms and the only way to tell if you have one is by getting tested. Most STIs are easy to test for — wee in a pot or take a swab — and many are easy to treat with medication. 

Learn more about STIs and STI testing