Harm reduction

Information statement

We talk about rough sex as a routine part of sexual wellbeing education. Because rough sex is riskier sex, understanding the possible harms can help people keep safe and informed.

Question prompt

Would you be comfortable if we talked about the possible risks with rough sex, and how to reduce them?

Information statement

The type of sex we have is a personal choice – and all of us deserve pleasurable and harm-free sex. Rough sex can cause a range of harms that are important to be aware of. These might include physical injury, harm to our emotional wellbeing, and trauma responses. In some cases, there can also be legal risks.

Question prompt

• What’s your understanding of the risks with rough sex?

• Would you like to discuss these? (See harm prevention discussion and question prompts)

• Do you have any questions or concerns about risks?

Information statement

Rough sex is considered risky sex because it can cause a range of harms. It can cause physical injury, harm someone’s emotional wellbeing, or impact their sense of trust, dignity or safety. Some people find it frightening or degrading, especially if it was unexpected. It also may have legal implications if significant injury occurred and/or consent wasn’t given.

Question prompt

• Do you have any questions or concerns about the risks with rough sex?

• What types of things do you and your partner/s do to keep safe during rough sex?

Information statement

There are some simple things that can help reduce the risks associated with rough sex including ensuring consent, communication, care, and caution before, during, and after rough sex.

Question prompt

Would you like me to share some tips on what consent, communication, care, and caution look like with rough sex?

See the 4Cs prompts

Information statement

Some people reflect on rough sex experiences and realise afterwards that what happened was unexpected, confusing, unwanted, or un-consented. If you've had an experience that you're not sure about, there are services to support you.

Question prompt

• Has anything come up during our conversation that you might want further information or support with?

• Do you have any questions about anything we’ve talked about?

Information statement

Clear communication about rough sex with a sexual partner can help lower risks. This includes communicating what you both want and enjoy; your expectations, boundaries and limits; and how to indicate if you change your mind or want to stop.

Question prompt

• What does communication look like for you with rough sex?

• Do you agree on what's going to happen, and what feels safe, comfortable, and respectful?

• How do you communicate boundaries and if you don’t like or want something during or after sex?

Information statement

Specific, clear, and enthusiastic consent is really important to keep everyone safe during rough sex. FRIES is a helpful tool when considering consent within rough sex.

Consent should be:

• Freely given: no pressure, guilt, or forcing

• Reversible: anyone can change their mind at any time

• Informed: everyone knows what they are agreeing to, including the risks

• Enthusiastic: everyone is 100% into it – and didn't consent while drunk, high, or asleep

• Specific: there’s consent to each specific sexual act and each new time rough sex occurs. Consenting to general sex doesn’t automatically include rough sex and not saying “no” to rough sex, isn’t consenting to it.

Question prompt

• What are some things you consider when consenting to rough sex?

• How might you know if a partner consents to rough sex, or what types of sex acts they want?

Information statement

Caring for your partner before, during, and after rough sex is an important way to reduce rough sex risks. Here's some tips:

• Before: agree on consent, expectations, safety (condoms, lube, etc.), and only do what’s pleasurable for everyone

• During: start gently. Introduce one act at a time. Check in before new acts. Give opportunities to stop

• After: make sure all sexual acts felt safe, respectful, and enjoyable

Question prompt

• How can you and a partner/s show care before, during, and after rough sex? (Or how do you do this?)

• Do you have any questions or concerns around care during rough sex?

Information statement

Being cautious and using safety measures is an important step in staying safe. Here are some tips:

• Create safe words or signals (e.g. hand gestures) so you can stop at any point

• Agree on alcohol and drug limits, as these can affect consent, boundaries, and recognising warning signs

• Be aware of signs that indicate someone’s feeling unsafe or distressed, e.g. freezing, fawning, pulling away, or shutting down

• Have a safety plan in case something goes wrong and if in doubt, always stop

• Always consider whether the person you have rough sex with feels "safe". If rough sex is on a dating profile, this doesn’t mean someone always automatically consents to it

Question prompt

• Do you and your partner(s) talk through risks and have safety measures in place?

• What do you consider before agreeing to rough sex with someone, i.e., red and green flags?