Introduction
What the guidance covers and who it's for.
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Rough sex has become an increasingly common practice within contemporary sexual culture.
Widespread portrayals of rough sex across online environments, alongside broader changes in the sexual landscape, are shaping new sexual norms and expectations – influencing how many young people understand, negotiate, and experience rough sex.
Alongside these shifts, services across Aotearoa are seeing an increasing number of young people presenting with complex and confusing experiences of harmful rough sex.
This guidance has therefore been developed to support practitioners to better understand, respond to, and reduce the risks and harms associated with rough sex.
It provides practical, youth-centred, and evidence-informed guidance across three sequential steps: understanding harmful rough sex, engaging effectively, and preventing and responding to harm.
Building knowledge of contemporary rough sex terminology, risks and impacts, and sociocultural contexts.
Positive, shame-free approaches that support safe, respectful, and mana-enhancing rough sex conversations and care.
Effective prevention, harm reduction, and harm management responses.
This guidance was developed by Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa and The Light Project, August 2026.
We are grateful to the many services that reviewed the guidance, and extend special thanks to Dr Samantha Keene, Professor Nicola Gavey, Dr Hala Nasr, Sandra Dickson, and Dr Clare Healy for their significant contributions. All quotes in the guidance are from young people in Aotearoa New Zealand.
Guidance scope
The guidance is primarily intended for practitioners working with young people aged 16–28 years.
It focuses on rough sex occurring within sexual relationships, while recognising that these experiences can intersect with sexual assault and intimate partner violence.
The guidance is intended to complement, rather than replace, existing workplace policies, procedures, and professional practice, including disclosure pathways.
Sexual strangulation can also occur within rough sex but is not a specific focus of this resource, nor are kink/BDSM contexts.
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